Offset Null Entertainment, LLC Software and Graphic Design Solutions

21May/11

Become Raptured in 5 Easy Steps

Did you miss out on the rapture? Well here's you chance to get raptured today!

  1. Plan your ascent.
    • Outdoor settings are usually more comfortable because there are less ceilings to hit on the way to heaven. Plus, you get to appreciate nature while it still lasts. It's all clouds and harps from now to eternity.
    • Decide whether you want a quick ascent, or a slow ascent.
    • If you're going for a slower ascent, consider what you might want to say before you're whisked away forever.
  2. Rehearse and record your ascent.
    • It's no fun being caught unprepared. This is the rapture we're talking about!! Reherse it!
    • Lay down a solid color bed sheet. Think of this sheet as containing your sins. Don't worry, we'll remove your sins later with AfterEffects or another program with chroma keying - the essential tool to salvation (and blockbuster movies).¬† In the mean time, just make sure it covers the space behind you.
    • Have a friend record you from above while you reenact your ascent. Have your recorder pan the camera from head to toe, keeping your entire body in the shot. This way, when you ascend to heaven, everyone else will get a shot of your feet.
    • Film the location where you want to be raptured. Be sure to have one shot of you in scene, and another with you no longer in the scene.
  3. Absolve your sins with the help of a computer.
    • Import the footage your friend took in Step 2. to your favorite video editing program (needs¬† chroma keying features). For this step, we used Adobe's After Effects.
    • Stabilize yourself in the footage your friend took, then, using the masking and chroma keying features in your video editor, absolve your sins... er, remove the bed sheet. Finally, crop the footage to remove anything else in your scene.
  4. Ascend to heaven!
    • Add the sin/bed sheet free you with the on-location footage you took earlier, utilizing camera tracking so your ascent is stabilized in the shot.
    • Make any color/exposure corrections you need to match yourself to your surroundings.
    • Animate your ascent. If you've tracked the footage, this should be quite easy since you just need to move yourself towards the sky while shrinking your image.
  5. Spread the word.
    • Send your rapture video to your loved ones so they know you're safe.
    • Send your rapture video to any sinners you know to rub their face in your salvation. Boo-ya!

Don't wait, get raptured today!

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